Title: Don’t Let Go
Series Title: Darkest Desires #1
Author: Lynn Burke
Blurb: Troy Jenner’s ex called his desire to be dominated sick. Divorced, shamed, and stripped bare of his assets, Troy is gifted a three day pass to Monique’s, Baltimore’s elite sex club. He hopes to discover the depths of his desires, not fall for the Domme with a turbulent past in her eyes.
Barista by day, Mistress by night, Jaycie Atkins is the Domme assigned to fulfill submissives’ fantasies of pain with pleasure. To conquer her childhood trauma, she learned to be powerful and prudent. Always giving, never receiving. Always in control—until Troy’s grateful groans after every whip of her flogger threaten to slip past her Domme defenses. The warmth in his eyes tempting her to trust him like no other.
Will Troy’s patience and persistence in breaking down her walls pay off, or will he be forced to accept the fact Mistress will never let go and give him the collar and second chance at love he longs for?
Fiery First Chapter:
Don’t Let Go
Darkest Desires 1
By Lynn Burke
I knelt in the middle of the dungeon-like room as I’d seen on the countless BDSM websites I’d been studying the past month, exactly like they’d shown us new subs at the introduction class the evening before. Butt naked, dick already at half-mast because I finally had the chance to explore the darkness inside of me that had killed my ten-year marriage.
As CEO of a prominent software company, I took pride in my self-control and stoic nature. Being a bastard had gotten me up the rung to where I sat comfortably behind a glass desk with windows overlooking Baltimore’s skyline. It had also earned me a nasty divorce a year earlier when my ex-wife took over half of what we owned, leaving me with a broken heart and near-empty bank accounts. At least a constant work load since then had gotten me closer to where I’d been before she’d attempted to wipe me out.
I studied my hands resting on my bare thighs. Springy hair tickled my palms. While the hair on my body remained a dark blond, the previous two years of hell had shot gray through the thick strands on my head and the scruff I couldn’t keep from lining my jaw.
Forty-three and already fucking gray. Wouldn’t help my chance at dating — if I ever got the balls to put myself out there again. I’d been celibate for over a year. Dead inside, unable to give two shits about anything but work, unable to get it up, too. I also didn’t have the energy to get involved, let alone think of dating.
Familiar exhaustion tugged on my eyelids, and I let them close while waiting for the Domme the club’s owner had booked me with for the night — Mistress Jaycie. A woman I’d never met, a woman I was going to let control me in whatever way she wanted.
Time to give over. Time to explore my lust for pain and hopefully float into that mysterious subspace I’d been reading about.
My dick twitched at the thought of pure, empty-headed euphoria.
Would the Domme I’d been paired with have a heavy hand? Would she be beautiful? Did I even care? I just wanted — craved — submission, the type that would erase the shit in my mind for a while and maybe get my rocks off.
My ex had been vanilla, same as I’d always been, and when I got the urge to introduce something new in the bedroom, she’d looked at me with disgust. Hell, I’d only suggested handcuffs and ropes, hoping she’d agree so we could eventually move on to what I really wanted.
No such fucking luck.
I breathed deep and exhaled my thoughts along with the lungful of used-up air. The silence coating the dim, private scening room at Monique’s club in downtown Baltimore soothed me. Even if it turned out the BDSM lifestyle wasn’t for me, I’d at least have gotten to experience a semi-hard dick again.
A click sounded as the door opened, and I kept my head and gaze lowered as I’d been instructed in the class. Awareness crept over my skin like an electrical charge as heels clicked on hardwood. My heartbeat accelerated. The subtle scent of oranges hit my nose as black leather stiletto boots came into my line of sight.
Hot as fuck. I bit back my groan as my cock thickened. I swallowed against sudden nervousness, something I hadn’t experienced since my teenage years.
“Hmm…” she murmured. The boots rounded to my left, disappearing in my periphery. “On your feet, slave.” Her low, husky voice prickled my skin, bringing my dick to full attention.
I rose with as much grace as I could, hands at my sides, erection sticking up close to my navel.
A soft inhale tickled my ears as I straightened completely.
I knew what she saw — what she probably didn’t expect for a man teetering on the brink of the downslope from his prime. Daily yoga, running, and weight training kept my body looking the same as it had at twenty-five.
Something trailed down my backbone and across the top of my ass cheeks, lacking the warmth of skin. Crop? Cane? The urge to know made me want to shift my stance, but I held still.
She rounded to the right and stopped in front of me.
From my height, most of her body came into view even though I kept my head lowered. The black leather of her boots hugged defined calves, stopping just above her knees. A good twelve inches of smooth, pale skin gave way to a tight leather skirt — also black — over flared hips, ending at her tiny waist. She held a crop in her right hand.
My dick actually jumped, bumping my abs.
I glanced up through my lashes, filling my eyes with the corset-cinched tits threatening to spill over the top. The milky-white globes set my mouth to watering.
“You will call me Mistress.”
Christ, that voice… I bit back another groan. “Yes, Mistress.”
“Look at me.”
I lazed my gaze over her lush breasts, up her neck, to her lifted chin. Lips perfectly bowed on top and bottom with a slight under bite. Pert nose and high cheekbones, long blonde stick-straight hair in a high pony tail… but her eyes.
Wide and blue, they held no warmth, no hint of flirting or desire. Cold and distant, closed off just like her stiff posture, but that didn’t stop the rush of awareness from sweeping through me again. My body didn’t give a shit that I had a good twenty or so years on her. For the first time since I’d met my ex, I felt inexplicably drawn to a woman.
I smiled, hoping to crack her façade with my charm and dimples. “I’m Troy.”
Her gaze narrowed, glints of ice shooting from her eyes, and she moved closer until mere inches separated her breasts from my chest. “Your name is slave.”
My smile faded, but my dick remained ready and at attention. “Yes, Mistress.”
“I’ve read your file.” Her cold gaze slid over my face. “No hard limits?”
“I didn’t check any because I don’t know what they might be, Mistress.”
“You enjoy pain.”
She hadn’t voiced a question, but I felt the need to let her know where I stood. “The thought of pain, but this is my first time in a submissive role, so…” I let my voice trail off with a shrug.
Taking a step back, she glanced downward. “We’ll see.” Her attention returned to my face without a hint of what she thought of my stiff dick. “You will not touch me without my verbal permission.”
Well, that sucks — “Your safeword?”
All business. I could handle that. “Red, Mistress. Green is good, yellow means I need time to process.”
She turned and strode toward a table that had all sorts of fun-looking stuff laid out. I’d taken a good peek at the toys before kneeling in the center of the room fifteen or so minutes earlier. Her hips moved with a tantalizing sway, and my gaze glued to a peek of ass cheeks beneath her short skirt.
“You took the introduction class yesterday?” she asked, her back still toward me as she set aside her crop.
“So you’re well hydrated and aware of what subdrop may entail?”
“I am, and yes, I listened closely, Mistress.”
She picked something up, and turned. Nipple clamps with a thin, silver chain connecting them.
Mine pebbled at the thought of the metal teeth digging into my tender flesh.
Mistress moved to stand in front of me and quickly — without her fingers touching my skin — closed the first over my right nipple.
Pain zinged through my pec, and I clenched my jaw along with my fists resting against my hips.
“Green,” I replied without hesitation.
The other bit into my flesh. I swallowed the need to groan as my dick jerked.
“You like that.”
Not a question, but I couldn’t help but answer while glancing up at her. “Yes, Mistress.”
Steely gaze, unmoved, unfazed. Fucking ice queen. “Let’s see how much you actually do enjoy pain, shall we? Eyes down, slave.” I obeyed without hesitation.
“Crawl to the cross.”
I slid back down to my knees at her command, breathing deep as my face passed less than a foot from the leather hiding her pussy. No hint of musk, nothing but oranges swarmed my nose. I’d never been so thirsty for a glass of juice in my life.
The heavily-padded cross sat to my right, and like a dog, I crawled on all fours. I should have been embarrassed, felt degraded considering my social position outside of the room, but I longed to please my mistress. Make her smile. Bring light to her cold eyes. I decided halfway to my destination that would be my mission every chance I got to scene with her.
“Stand up. Face the cross. Arms up and legs spread.”
I did as told, and her warm breath slid over my skin while she buckled my wrists and ankles to the cross with only the slightest brush of her fingertips. She reached around me, the leather covering her breasts caressing my back. The tug on the nipple clamp chain shot biting pain through me clear to my dick and I hissed, closing my eyes.
Her body heat disappeared, sending a shiver through me. She moved across the room on clicking heels, and I remembered her round ass with its sensual sway. Pre-cum formed on the head of my dick, and I bit down on my lower lip, fighting the urge to hump the damn cross as she drew near once more.
“Are your restraints too tight?” she asked without a hint of concern lacing the words.
The same cool touch from before slid down my spine… the crop. Over my ass, down my thighs, back up through my ass crack. I never expected to be turned on by that touch, but I found myself wanting the crop to return to my ass hole as Mistress slid it up my side.
Thoughts and images crashed into my mind, desires I’d kept suppressed for so long because of her.
Mistress stepped back, and a sharp crack registered in my ears before the sting snapped my right ass cheek.
Damn, she has an arm on her…
“Color?” she murmured, her husky voice twitching my cock.
She let loose again, and a shudder rippled down through me, bringing a smile to my lips.
Oh, yeah. This…
My brain fuzzed around the edges, and I relaxed in the restraints as she hit me, wanting more. Needing it as bad as my leaking cock needed to be jerked off.
Mistress used the crop down my thighs, across my ass, and every time she asked me a color, I fought to keep from groaning my answer of “green” and begging for more of the bee-like sting. Blood roared in my ears as fire raced across my thighs. Adrenaline pumped through my system, but I floated on the sensual pain, imagining every smack a caress of her hand, marking my soul, filling me with… something unnamable.
My skin burned.
“Please,” I heard myself moan, past the point of caring about anything but blowing my load.
Another crack to the inside of my thigh, and I humped the cross, needing fucking release. Silence settled, and I swam in the buzzing of my brain.
“Please, Mistress.” I ground my hips again even though there was no softness — only hard — to press against. “Touch me.” I imagined the soothing hands on the red marks that surely covered my backside. I hoped for caresses and oil massaged into my skin to ease the ache.
The bindings fell off my ankles and wrists, and I slumped onto the floor, panting for oxygen through dry lips.
“Face me.” Still fucking cold. Not even out of breath from the exertion of beating my ass.
I turned on my knees and fisted my hands to keep from grabbing my throbbing, leaking cock as a tremor ripped through me.
“You have permission to touch yourself.”
Thank Christ. I wrapped my hand around my pre-cum-slickened dick and stroked down to the base and back up. “Can I come?” I whispered, my eyes glued to her sexy-as-fuck stilettos in a wide stance two feet away.
“Yes.” She leaned down and tugged the clamps off my nipples.
Fire raced through my tender nubs, and my hips thrust into my hand, my climax slamming into me and drawing a deep groan from my lips. I stared at the ropes of cum jetting from my cock, every stroke of my hand bringing another to shoot across the distance to coat her boots. I’d never experienced such a powerful, consuming climax. My breath caught, and I bit on my lower lip until I tasted blood.
One last groan, and I slumped on my free hand, closing my eyes and sucking wind. My thighs and ass burned. My nipples throbbed. Every muscle in my body trembled.
I fucking loved it.
Heels clacked, but I didn’t move. I couldn’t remember my name. Where I was.
“Sit up,” Mistress said while placing a bottle of water on the floor beside me.
I did as told and stared as Mistress used a warm, wet towel to wipe me clean. Twice, her fingers brushed against my semi, sending a twinge through my cock. She’d already wiped off her boots — something I had hoped to do for her.
I held up my right hand, and she wiped the cum from my fingers, keeping our flesh from touching. Longing to caress the hand that had given me what I’d craved rolled over me.
“Can I touch you?” I heard myself ask through the ringing in my ears.
“How are you feeling?” she asked rather than answer, her voice softened as she once more stood over me.
“Shaky. Euphoric.” I tilted my head back on a heavy sigh.
The ice had melted in her gaze, giving her a fresh-faced youthful look with pinktinged cheeks and eyes like the summer sky. No upturned lips, but a step in the right direction.
“You’re beautiful,” I said with a smile.
Her expression shut down as the fifty-foot wall rose up over her face.
So much for that D/s bond I’d wondered over, with all the gentle caressing and snuggling afterward. While I had wanted to wipe my cum from her boots and kiss her feet, the aloofness in her eyes spoke volumes about her expectations.
I’d gotten off for the first time in Christ knows how long, so I wasn’t about to complain. I’d also found I enjoyed pain a hell of a lot more than I’d expected. Sure as shit wasn’t going to complain about that either since I’d found a place to explore my darker cravings.
Mistress moved back across the room and wiped down her toys, the silence tense between us.
I grabbed the bottle of water and chugged, my gaze glued to her legs and ass as my breathing returned to normal.
“A long, hot soak in a bath might be in order later tonight,” she said, her back still toward me, her voice void of emotion. “There’s no broken skin, but the welts might sting for a couple of days. Make sure you drink lots of water. Omega-3’s like they suggested in class will help as well.”
All business… again, I didn’t give a shit. My emotions still floated on a massive high even though my body wanted to curl up and sleep.
“I hope you enjoyed your session this evening, Mr. Jenner.”
I considered the burn still biting at my ass, and half-smiled as my dick twitched at the thought of another round. “Yes, Mistress.”
She finally turned around. Her guarded eyes held a hint of wariness. “Are you feeling okay?”
Lips pursed, she nodded and left without another word.
I had every intention of writing out a check for ten grand before leaving, making myself the newest submissive client at Monique’s sex club. Sure, I’d been let down in the whole aftercare aspect, but hell… I had set my eyes on the woman who needed her walls toppled to the ground. The mistress I wanted to get inside of — in more ways than one.
Changeling Press: https://www.changelingpress.com/don-t-let-go-darkest-desires-1-b-2751
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dont-Let-Darkest-Desires-Book-ebook/dp/B07FN99TMP